10 STEPS TO GET YOUR EX BACK

Not necessarily in the given order…

Buck up: Prepare for the worst, hope for the best. No matter what you do, ur ex may NEVER come back. Doesn’t mean you didn’t try hard enough. Doesn’t mean you can’t try hard enough. You got nothing to lose.

Respect: This is probably the biggest reason for all major fall-outs or probably the final drill that broke it all. Whatever the reason, don’t say it, show your respect!

Manipulation:  If you’re tryin’ so hard to get your ex back, chances are, the two of you were quite close. So, your ex can read you like a book. Don’t manipulate in ANY form. In between ANY line. Stay clear; state sincere. Phrases like – “Lol, you can’t be that stupid!” or “Oh, you won’t be so giving.” *an insincere emoji maybe* - they’ll only work against you!

Space: Give your ex the space so they can walk and come to you. This also gives them a chance to assure them of their own sure-footed decision when they do. Or else they’ll forever be wondering if this is what they wanted at all or coercion of situation.

Time: Time, as clichéd as it is, IS the best healer. If your ex asks for time, Give. No questions no conditions. If you fall in love with someone else before your ex is back, well now you know who’s really meant for you!

Silence: Don’t let your actions or words be so loud your ex can’t hear his or her own thoughts. If you say or write or send a card, wait for the response. Don’t answer to your own answer. Sometimes people take more than a minute or decade to express.

Pray: You don't have the power to make anyone love you so filing a petition with providence won't hurt you!

Past: Although you are attempting to remind your ex about the good ol’ days by rewinding the record, it may trigger exactly those negative memories that your ex has been trying so hard to overcome. So no past references. Start afresh!

Friendship: if there's anything purer than love its friendship so try and strike that platonic gold feel with your ex. Pat yourself for your understanding that this is the best you can ever have (in case your ex never returns) and that you're lucky enough to play the friend part. Hey, atleast you have a part in your ex's life!

Let Go: Sometimes although you want your ex back in your life it’s just so that you can get back for all the hurt the other person's caused you intentionally or unintentionally. So introspect if the reasons you wanna get back for are genuine. If it’s not the case, forgo the chase.

MUSINGS ABOUT THE MOVIE - HIGHWAY

So,after a long time saw a movie that had me go – whoa! You’ve got to sit andwrite a review for this one!
Atravel film centered on a girl who’s doin’ a parallel travel in her head….howmany of us girls can immediately relate to this…yea, thought so!
Whilethe acting by Alia is really commendable and Randeep leaves no room forcomplaints – Imtiaz Ali – that manbrought such high standards on himself with his own good work – somewhat slackswith his direction. He let his artistic side indulge in a few places where manyamong the audience would catch some zzzs.
Rahman’smusic doesn’t interfere...stays in the background, and that quite suits thefilm.
AnilMehta hasn’t taken away one’s breath with cinematography…the locations are goodand it reflects.
Ohkay!Now that that’s out of the way, let me begin, a very personal super-slicing ofthe layers of this film. This obviously is more like the parallel conversationin my head while the movie was on… rather than a …um…critical review. And oh –spoiler alert also please, for those who haven’t seen the film.
Beforethat…a hearty thanks to Imtiaz for coming out with this brilliant movie with amessage…really kudos to this guy!
Wehave Alia play the stinking rich Veera Tripathi…she’s got all that one wantsfrom the outside…but like many …the insides are cracked. Imtiaz has woven thischaracter of a girl….who’s beautifully broken….why beautifullybroken…because...this girl despite broken and crumpled - needless to say this makesher mind utterly complicated - still sees the beauty of life…nothing stops herfrom admiring everything; right from the nature that God created to a bungalowbuilt and brought to ruins by man!
Nowthere might be Freud or some other big-shot-but-dead man’s theory on why Veerafalls for her kidnapper…what sort of a complex that can be tagged as …but waita minute…it’s no secret that every girl likes a bad boy…at least once in herlife! In fact, mostly girls like a bitof a bad streak in their boys. A bad boy who’s, of course, good to her but sobad that he can fight the world’s vices and keep her bubble from breaking.
Chic-litstuff you say? Wait till you read more.
Ohwe girls are so strong! Some of us have gone so over board with those weightsin the gym and look mighty capable of bringing men down. Actually now that Ithink of it, those who don’t go to gym have a knack of bringing men down too… anywaysthat’s not the point…a big shout out to our extreme-yet-healthy feminist side! Thatsense of independence, a must for every girl!
Butfor the most times, after we’re done conquering the mountain summit…after we’redone mad – dancing in the middle of the road…we’d definitely want to fall backon a pair of strong arms. And forget the cares of the world. Shut out the noise. Thump-thump. Thatheartbeat…you see, is all the safety you need.
Soin this insanely safe world where even a mosquito hurting you is an absoluteimpossibility, making a home only requires love and not so much percentagewhite or black money. Why, leaving the derision aside most of us in our soberstates would agree that love is what makes a house a home. And that’s what Veerabelieves too!
Let’stake a moment why this girl believes so. The echoing silence of a big bungalowwith your man - Mr. Moneybags hunched over his laptop versus the nuzzlingcoziness of a one room shack with your beau whispering sweet nothings to you.Honestly which sounds better? Okay if your Mr. Moneybags slaps shut his laptopthe minute he sees you walk in and tells you silly-sweet things, I take back myquestion!
AndVeera does find her perfect little cottage but then she doesn’t get to live init because Mahabir gets shot!
Butfor fun of imagination, let’s say he doesn’t get shot- that Imtiaz doesn’t givein to the clichéd – hero –dies- in -love -story climax- and Mahabir and Veera continueto live in paradise. Yep, by now they’ve reached Kashmir. Would Veera continueto be blindly in love? Once she gets to know the rates of daily-ration wouldshe switch to being rational? Will her peepers finally peek into practicalitiesof life? Ok, a little overboard with the alliterations there but would Veeraand Mahabir really have grown old together?
Orwould Veera have realized the pointlessness of her mismatch with an illiterategoon once she’s done knowing the mystery behind this macho face?
Let’sbe pessimistic for a change and say Veera does make up her mind to get back todaddy and his money. Once she is off, Mahabir would know what it’s like to havea bypass surgery done on him minus the anesthesia…yea that’s what most boyscompare it to when they get drunk and rant! And they also say they would anyday take a bullet straight to the chest than watch ‘her’ leave.
Andmaybe Imtiaz knew this too well. So he let Mahabir die in the lap of hisbeloved. The heroic and utterly romantic death – when he was still loved by Veeraand probably he’d guessed that he’d go on to live forever in her memories.
That,rather than being alive – and live - and lose the love – and be lost inoblivion for her. And wake up every day to disillusionment. No, that bitternessis much, much worse than a onetime bullet hit.
Itdoesn’t make for a good film ending.
Itmakes for much worse in real life.
Sowhere does that leave love? Is it like…for real?
Ofcourse it’s real!!! That’s what made the road-trip of Veera and Mahabir soutterly magical!! Heck, love’s what made Motorcycle Diaries magical! No, thosetwo weren’t gay. Cheers to those who gotthe point. And the point is let’s not stop believing in the existence of love.
Problemswill always be there but the death of love makes problems insurmountable. Andthat perhaps is what I feel is the silent sub-text in the film.
Veera’sMahabir died. It’s the worst case scenario. Anything less than death, shouldn’tseparate you from your loved one.
Friends,Family, Soul-mate. Every relationship shines when there’s genuine love.
Imean, just think, if a road trip is so awesome with someone you love, how canyou miss that special someone in this journey of life?

Breaking Dawn Part 2 – a very personal and partial movie review by a twi-fan

“Make Love, Not War”

For all the blood and tearing of flesh or umm…Vampire skin…this seems to be the essential anD age-old – ‘moral’ of the entire Twilight Saga – Make Love Not War.

Now that I’ve unconventionally put the moral of the story right at the top let’s get to business…how does the finale film of this grand saga…adapted from Stephanie Meyers brilliant novel come about?

I watched the Indian version. My first shock and utter disappointment is that - I’m sorry to all the culture vultures out there but very aesthetically speaking – the entire sex scene…is chopped off. The highlight of the first half of the film, and of Bella and Edward’s love story…when both as immortal-equals enjoy the carnal pleasure…the thrill of watching the cinematographic interpretation of this particular paragraph from the book is denied to the Indian audience. Too hot to handle?
 

The vivid and brilliant experience of Bella’s strength and clarity as a vampire could have been comprehensive   …yes, definitely a few more frames could have been allotted to that. Just as soon as we begin to enjoy it, the story moves forward. Maybe this is just because I’m used to the liberal time allowance of Bollywood films J
 

Baby Renesmee looks very much like she is conceived in the animation room than Bella and Edward’s bedroom, despite sharing Bella’s brunette beauty. After seeing the lifelike werewolves we expected the inter-specie spawn to look just as convincing.
 

There are convenient clichés as well – like when Alice foresees the Volturi’s arrival she is just about to place a vase full of flowers and the shock of her vision has her dropping the vase and the shattering sound, well adds shock value to the scene as a whole.
 

But some clichés are more than welcome. Jacob’s undressing, for example.
 

But the highlight of the second half is no-doubt the war scene. Fantastic action choreography! Totally gripping. Sure to stir up a few gasps and ‘oh no’s’ from the audience. Brilliant effects here. The larger your screen the better.
 

No complaints for cinematography. Effects are cool just needed a li’l more convincing with baby Renesmee. Editing could’ve been more merciful? Or was it keeping in mind time constraints? Kristen Stewart, maybe because of the change in her character, is a lot more stronger with her histrionics. Everything about her is so bold in the film! Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner seem to have matured and look all the more comfortable in the character of their skins. renesmee brings out the confidence needed for Renesmee’s character beautifully. Rest of the star cast does total justice to their parts.
 

Christina Perri’s song lingers in your mind long after the end credits are over. An ideal ode to one of the greatest love stories of modern times.
 

Once again, we are back to believing in ‘happy ever afters’ which seemed to have gotten lost with the Disney cartoon era. And I wish there had been Alices in real life to show nobody wins in wars and everyone is happy if you walk away after sensible talks.
 

Rating: ***

SELF - HELP

Never going against your instinct. Hear your conscience. Listen carefully. Do what it tells you to.

Oprah says to overcome depression, tragedy, loss or any kind of emotional trauma, write a journal, a personal one. Although I’m one compared to her, I say, never ever write a personal diary. The least embarrassing thing that could happen to you is someone reading it and the worst thing that could happen is someone publishing the details in any kind of media, it could be word of mouth or blog and then all of your secrets are out for everyone to gawk at. Why am I so sure? Personal experience, you see. And so, right now, when I was in the deepest of pits because of some personal reason I would not like to disclose I wanted to vent myself which is when I discovered this innovative pretty- harmless-to- self way of alleviating my pain.

The answer is people, to write and that should be it. Write about anything except yourself and that leaves you with a hell lot of other topics like bitching about your ex- best friend who ditched you, as you got hooked up with a guy, who she had the hots for, to writing about American idol castoff Sanjaya Malekar or if you are not the gossip type then write about the discovery of 300 million year old fossils of a rainforest. Whew!

That’s a lot more uncomfortable or unnatural to come out of us, but it works and that’s what matters isn’t it? And, it is a lot less risky and a lot more fun especially if you’re a gossip lovin’ girl like me but hey let’s not forget not to overdo it. Or our writings could end up sabotaging someone’s public image.

As far as my experience goes, you get over whatever has been making you upset a lot quickly than if you would have been writing about that upsetting thing itself. In distracts you from what is troubling you and you feel good, light and calm. There is this peace that surrounds you, which not even a thousand hours of meditation would have made possible.

Tall, Olive skinned, Mischievous eyes, Raven Black hair thats perfectly rigid, a sculpted body and an apt smile. Truly handsome, isn’t it? Well, these are just a few of the good things that John possesses. His flawless demeanor just adds up to his credit as a “purrfect gentleman.”But, unlike other bollywood actors, John Abraham was never born with the silver spoon in his mouth. And also unlike Shahrukh, he never actually struggled for the sake of being a bollywood actor.

Born to a malayalee father and a parsi mother, he had a pretty much middle class childhood who just wanted to be good in studies and then get a proper 9 to 5 job. He was raised in an area known as ghatkopar in central Mumbai. After finishing his schooling from the prestigious Bombay Scottish and then completing his bachelors degree in Jai Hind college he went on to do his MMS from Mumbai Educational Trust (MET).Then he landed himself a job in a media firm. As luck would have it when one of the models did not turn up for a show John’s boss asked him to fill in his place. That was the stimulus! The rest of the good things just followed simply.

Then, he landed himself his first assignment, an ad for Live In Jeans. Later, he turned out to be the first runner up in Gladrags Manhunt '99 which got him many modelling assignments from respectable firms. But still he was not a popular figure in India. He did some music videos but then would soon be wiped out of public memory. His tryst with commercials continued.

But his first real movie break came to him when Pooja Bhatt offered him the lead role for Jism. It put John in the face of controversy due to the movies erotic nature but also brought him right under the spotlight. But he remained unhassled and the calmness proved to be of worth. Then John was just being seen in a trail of good movies. Paap, Dhoom, Lakeer, Karam, Viruddh and now Water all show John portraying a different character. But he has done his job with the utmost finesse.

One more thing worth mentioning about John is that he has never given in for anything, except his own belief. He believed in himself. He was asked to change his name while making an entry to the film industry because his name sounded too ‘angrezi’. He was also asked to cut his hair. He stuck to the name, stuck to the style and then there was born a new national icon.

Even recently, he was threatened not to act in the movie Water but John did it and it paid off well! It is evident how well Water has been acclaimed internationally.

Today, John is one of the most successful actors with a very successful personal life too. The actor and his girlfriend actress Bipasha Basu have been going on strong for almost five years now.

This is an incident which John fondly remembered in Simi Garewal’s talk show. It happened when he was a teenager . On an unguarded occasion he kept staring at his reflection in the mirror when his father crept up from behind him and asked, a bit amused, “Son, what do you think your doing? And John replied , “Dad, this face is going to sell products someday”. That day sure has arrived! John Abraham is a brand today.

HOME SWEET HOME

After spending two long days journeying in an unreserved compartment of Indian mail train, I still was bubbling like champagne. My father, unnerved by this extravagant display of energy by his daughter, asked me with a lil’ bit of concern , honey , aren’t u tired? I said, tired?! What tired dad? Im just so happy to be back home.

Well, of course, my home is not that big mansion up there, but whatever it is I really have learnt to appreciate this one room apartment we have.

It just so happens that I went to my native place to visit my grandparents. It is important to mention that their place is a totally unhealthy hybrid offspring of urban and typical rural. Like an urban house it has a modular kitchen, posh sofa and geyser in the bathroom. But like a rural hutch it does not have a TV . I was already moanin ‘bout da fact dat im gonna miss my sweet lil’ pc. But hey no tv? Excuse me? Its not even like they have doordarshan but no cable channels. Honestly , I’m modest enough to put up with that. But nope! Absolutely no piece of an idiot box in their room.

And yes I spent two days with the most underprivileged people in India during my journey home. I saw how their life worked. It rang a bell in my head I shouldn’t be complainin’ so much after all. There I was trapped in a corner of the upper birth. Its not even a birth in reality, its a luggage rack made of wood and no foam to comfort your gluteus maximus ( which I have not been blessed with much abundance you see). And when I had to pee I had to tiptoe my way to the loo ( which would of course be stinking like rotten corpse) by carefully placing them on top of the seats cuz people were there on the floor sleepin and if I even accidently happen to disturb them surely I would have had a cannon ball of abuses thrown at me. Then all night I had to sleep with a stranger’s cracked foot right in front of my face and all the time I kept worryin if by any chance it would collide with my nose. I felt like I was bein given corporal punishment. But what I was bein given was a valuable lesson in my life .

Suddenly, my cramped little room is appearing too big for me.

HOW COLLEGE CHANGED ME.

Like all other children, when I was in school, I used to look forward to grow up and go to “college”. Finally the long awaited day arrived and I was on my way to attend the first day of my fairly good college. Going to college was a great transition for me, considering the fact that it was quite far from where I did my schooling. ( My school is in kurla and I had to go to Vasai for college because I had shifted there.) I had left behind my school my teachers my friends, in short my whole so- called social life.

Since I came from an all girls school the male population in my college seemed intimidating . The first change that college brought into me was turn me from a bold uniform clad girl to a tiny timid rabit. ( I was four feet ten inches when I was in junior college , so yes , I did look tiny among the college crowd.) That was the first day.

Soon everything changed . I made new friends and I realized that unlike school friends, in college friends are not just friends but they formed my support system. College professors did not try to be my surrogate parents like my school teachers did. (To which I did not know how to react. I was like should I be happy or should I be not).

There was this tremendous amount of liberty bestowed upon me, it was overwhelming. I was the sole person responsible to take my decisions. And I was sole person to suffer the consequences of my decisions. ( Yes. Suffer. Because my decision to bunk lectures got my name into the blacklist and also got my parents summoned to the college.) The incident however taught me to take RESPONSIBLE decisions.

College opened my eyes as to how competitive the world is. In school the class teachers knew all of us pretty well and they also knew the talent every child had. So for any school occasion Tom , Dick and Harry were assigned to do hosting, singing and dancing respectively. Because they were the best in those fields. But in college raising your hands up wasn’t enough. You had to shoot your hands up. By the time you raise your hands up taking your own sweet time, someone else must have grabbed the opportunity. College changed me from the person who waits for the right opportunity to the person who struggles to get the opportunity. It taught me to take failure as a part of life but still never tire from running the race.

In college, we were required to do projects with deep research. We were given topics which delved into issues of societal concern. It changed my outlook of the society we live in. Such projects made me capable of empathizing with blind people and orphans. College turned me into a more aware citizen of this country.

College changed me from a kid to a responsible adult. It taught me to value the importance of liberty and responsibility. College changed my life , for good, for better.